Yes, erectile dysfunction (ED) can happen in your 20s and 30s. At this age, trouble getting or keeping an erection most often comes from anxiety, stress or habits such as heavy drinking, smoking and recreational drug use, though a health problem is sometimes behind it. A simple rule helps you tell which is more likely: if you still get erections in some situations, such as when you wake up or masturbate, anxiety is the likelier cause; if you can’t get one in any situation, see a doctor. Keep It Hard, a program in The Coach app, teaches exercises that calm anxiety, take the pressure off sex and train your pelvic floor, step by step.
Get my planAn erection starts in the brain. Arousal sends signals along your nerves, the blood vessels in your penis open up, and blood flows in. Anything that disrupts that chain can get in the way, from worry to a problem with your blood vessels, hormones or nerves. In younger men the cause is more often anxiety, stress or everyday habits than an illness, and several things often add up, with one feeding another.
Common causes of erectile dysfunction in young men include:
If your erections work but aren’t as firm as you’d like, our guide to getting harder erections covers what helps.
Many men have a mix of both, so no single sign settles it. A rule of thumb helps, though: if you can’t get an erection in any situation, a physical cause is more likely; if erections work in some situations and not in others, your mind is probably involved. Look at the pattern:
These are clues, not a diagnosis. If anxiety looks like the main driver, our guide to psychological erectile dysfunction explains what helps.
If any signs point to a physical cause, see a doctor. Whatever the cause, these steps are a good place to start:
Keep It Hard teaches the breathing and anxiety exercises step by step and tells you how often to repeat each one. Answer a few questions to get your plan.
Losing an erection once, after a few drinks or with a new partner, happens to many men. The trouble starts when you begin to expect it. The next time, worry switches on the fight-or-flight response before anything has happened, blood flows away from the penis, and the fear seems confirmed. Avoiding sex after that only adds pressure to the next attempt.
Hardness also rises and falls during sex for every man, so a small dip is normal. It becomes a problem only when the dip itself sets off panic. Three habits help break the cycle:
If worry about performing is what holds you back most, our guide to sexual performance anxiety goes into more depth.
A trigger is a situation that reliably sets off the worry. It helps to list yours: avoid the obvious ones, plan for the rest, and tell your partner so they can help instead of guessing. These situations are common:
The inner critic is the harsh voice that says things like “You’re going to lose it again.” It can sound like your own voice, an ex or a parent, and it can switch on the fight-or-flight response by itself. The inner coach exercise, based on compassion-focused therapy, trains a calmer, kinder voice to answer it:
Keep It Hard pairs this exercise with a written technique for questioning anxious thoughts and adds both to your plan.
Erection problems in your 20s and 30s are worth taking seriously, and there’s a lot you can do about them.
Keep It Hard is a program in The Coach app for men who want stronger, more reliable erections. Its 17 lessons cover anxiety, the pelvic floor and skills for sex with a partner, and daily practice takes about 10 to 20 minutes.
Early lessons help you tell physical causes from psychological ones and explain when a doctor’s visit should come first.
Breathing exercises, the inner coach exercise and a written technique for questioning anxious thoughts.
Trigger planning, the soft penis exercise and a solo exercise in letting an erection fade and return.
Answer a few questions to get a personal plan that shows which practices to start with. Keep It Hard then lays out what to do each day.
Being young doesn’t rule out a physical cause. See a doctor if any of these apply:
A doctor will usually ask about your sex life and habits, check your blood pressure and weight, and may order blood tests for sugar, cholesterol and testosterone. For more on the medical side, see our guide to erectile dysfunction.
Hiding the problem tends to add pressure. When a partner knows what’s going on, you can slow down together, avoid your triggers and enjoy sex that doesn’t depend on penetration.
With a new partner, a few honest words are enough, for example: “I get nervous with someone new, and it can affect my erection. It isn’t about you.” In a longer relationship, pick a calm moment outside the bedroom and treat it as something you work on as a team.
These figures come from a survey of The Coach users after their first four weeks. They describe what users reported, not a promise for every man.
Calming your body, quieting the inner critic and getting used to softness all get easier with repetition. Your plan lists what to do each day, and new exercises are added as you go.
Reviews from men using the app, in their own words.
“This app is just what I needed when my confidence was at an all time low. I felt stressed and completely lost all interest to the point where I struggled to get it up. But then I took a chance on this app. Daily listening and going through the exercises sometimes even half-mindedly. Well! Let’s just say she definitely noticed the change and now can’t seem to get enough of it 😁👍”
“I started the Coach program because there was some real inconsistency in my response to stimulus. In fact I was beginning to believe that my sexual life was on its way out the door. I was pretty desperate to find a solution and I stumbled across The Coach. It has been a game changer.”
“My experience with ‘The Coach’ app has been very good. The lessons and exercises have helped me tremendously. I am much more confident both within myself and also with my appearance. Intimate moments are not so anxious as before because I follow the helpful advice given in the ‘The Coach’ app.”
“This program has helped me get a harder erection without pills. I don’t have issues with pre-mature EJ. I just can’t EJ at all during intercourse but this issue is separate from this program. You have to do program everyday and there’s no quick fix. Anything thats body related takes time so stick with it.”
Keep It Hard was developed with specialists in men’s health, among them urologists, physiotherapists, a sex therapist and a sex coach.
Gerard Greene
Specialist men's health physiotherapist and senior lecturer at Coventry University.
Dr. Susie Gronski
Licensed physical therapist, certified sexuality counselor, and founder of a men's pelvic health clinic.
Natalie Goldberg
Certified sex and family therapist dedicated to improving intimate relationships and personal well-being.
Dr. Amy Pearlman
Board-certified urologist specializing in male sexual wellness, performance, and hormonal health.
Dr. Justin Houman
MD, UCLA-trained urologist and male reproductive specialist focusing on sexual health.
Cameron Fraser
Australia's leading men's sex coach, specializing in male sexual wellness and performance.
Ben Greenfield
13-time Ironman triathlete, bestselling author, and recognized expert in health, fitness, and performance.
Dr. Gary Shlifer
DO, board-certified internal medicine physician specializing in preventative care, nutrition, and anti-aging.
Erection problems are less common at 20 or 25 than later in life, but they do happen. Losing an erection now and then is normal at any age, especially when you’re nervous, tired or have been drinking. If it happens most times you try, look at the likely causes, and see a doctor if any physical signs apply.
Often the same things as in your 20s: anxiety, stress and habits. Other changes can add up with time, such as longer working hours, less exercise, weight gain and, in some men, the first signs of high blood pressure, high blood sugar or high cholesterol. If your erections have been getting weaker gradually, see a doctor.
Often, yes: anxiety, stress and low mood are common causes at this age. But physical causes happen too, and many men have a mix. If you still get erections when you wake up or masturbate, anxiety is more likely; if you don’t get them in any situation, see a doctor.
There’s no single fix, because treatment depends on the cause. A physical cause needs a doctor, who can talk you through the options. When anxiety or stress drives it, the usual approaches are talking therapy with a psychologist or sex therapist and practical exercises that calm anxiety, along with less alcohol, no nicotine and enough sleep. Keep It Hard isn’t a treatment: it’s a training program that teaches these exercises.
Sometimes it eases once a stressful period passes or after you cut back on drinking. But if worry keeps it going, waiting and avoiding sex tend to make it worse. If it keeps happening, or happens in every situation, see a doctor.
Box breathing and the soft penis exercise ease anxiety, and the inner coach exercise helps with a harsh inner voice. Pelvic floor exercises support the physical side; our guide to exercises for erectile dysfunction explains them.
No. Box breathing, the soft penis exercise and the inner coach exercise are all done on your own. Keep It Hard covers partner skills, such as talking about sex and touch exercises, later in the program.
Plan on about 10 to 20 minutes a day. Some practices repeat daily and others less often, and your plan shows what to do each day.
