Step 01
Start with a short questionnaire
Your answers set up your plan. The questionnaire doesn’t diagnose the cause of erection difficulties.
Sexual performance anxiety is worry about how you’ll do in bed: whether you’ll get or keep an erection, finish too soon or disappoint your partner. That worry tightens your body and pulls your attention away from pleasure. Keep It Hard, a program in The Coach app, guides you through breathing, grounding and exercises for handling worried thoughts. If erection difficulties persist or the worry is distressing, talk to a doctor or therapist as well.
Get my planAnxiety switches on your body’s fight-or-flight response: breathing gets shallow, muscles tighten and blood is sent away from the penis. Physical health, medication, relationships and stress can also affect erections, so anxiety isn’t the explanation for every difficulty.
Reacting this way doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You can learn to notice the tension and go easier on yourself, and still get any symptoms checked that need it.
Keep It Hard combines physical practices with exercises for managing sexual anxiety. Guided sessions and short lessons help you build a routine. It teaches and guides; it doesn’t diagnose or treat a medical condition.
Step 01
Your answers set up your plan. The questionnaire doesn’t diagnose the cause of erection difficulties.
Step 02
Listen to the instructions, read short explanations and follow each practice’s schedule. Your daily plan keeps the next steps together.
Step 03
Breathing, grounding and work with worried thoughts come alongside the physical practices. You don’t have to finish one part before starting the other.
Answer a few questions about your situation and follow the guided practices at your own pace.
A difficult experience, a hurtful comment or a stressful period can leave you worried about what will happen next time. That worry can make sex feel more pressured. The pattern varies, but these are some common experiences.
Noticing this pattern gives you something specific to practise: calmer breathing, attention to sensations and a less critical response to changes in your body.
Sexual anxiety in men can contribute to erection difficulties, and erection difficulties can create anxiety. Both psychological and physical factors may be involved.
You don’t need to prove anything with an erection.
Keep It Hard introduces these one at a time. Go at a pace that feels comfortable, and get professional support if an exercise stirs up more than you can handle.
Guided sessions and a daily plan help you return to the exercises regularly, including on days when it is hard to know where to start.
Male performance anxiety can lead to avoidance, drinking or constant checking. It helps to notice whether a response supports you or makes the next experience feel harder.
A short break is fine, but avoiding sex tends to feed the anxiety. If worry keeps you from closeness you want, find low-pressure ways to be intimate that don’t require penetration or an erection.
Alcohol can feel relaxing, but heavy drinking can contribute to erection difficulties. It’s not a reliable way to manage sexual anxiety.
Constant checking can take attention away from pleasure. Practise noticing the urge to check and returning to comfortable sensations.
Medication may help when prescribed appropriately. If worry or relationship difficulties continue, discuss additional support with your doctor or therapist.
Performance anxiety in men can take time to work through. A regular, manageable routine gives you room to learn without making each sexual experience a test.
A qualified professional can assess your situation and recommend suitable support. An app cannot provide that assessment.
Users of The Coach, asked after their first four weeks. The figures cover the app as a whole, not these practices on their own.
From the app stores and Trustpilot. Trimmed for length, never reworded.
“I have Only Just Started this Course and Already in my first part have learned so much from it. It seems that Everyone is genuinely trying to help men, who experience ED or similar mental health issues and problems about their health. It is not all about the physical side of Yourself that stops You maybe from having temporary or permanent problems.”
“One of the most valuable parts of the program is its focus on managing performance anxiety and building better body awareness. The app includes structured breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and pacing strategies that help users stay calm and present. These tools can be especially helpful for men who want to feel more in control and reduce the stress that can affect intimacy.”
“This program has helped me a lot already. I’m 20 days in and it has improved my discipline and confidence. I know I need to get things done for my own health thanks to the notification reminders and I’m looking forward to feeling the end result of the program”
“This app and program is one of the most comprehensive tool and program I’ve tried. It provides you with many strategies and step by step instructions. It focuses not only on a physical side but also on psychic and mental side. Day to day guidenance with focus to understand all aspects of your life and health, both psychological and physical.”
Their experiences are their own, and yours will depend on your situation. A few questions are enough to get your own plan.
The Coach’s programs are crafted with clinical researchers, certified sex therapists and medical professionals, including practising urologists. The anxiety exercises come from standard sex therapy and CBT, not from anything we invented.
Gerard Greene
Specialist men’s health physiotherapist and senior lecturer at Coventry University.
Dr. Susie Gronski
Licensed physical therapist, certified sexuality counselor, and founder of a men’s pelvic health clinic.
Natalie Goldberg
Certified sex and family therapist dedicated to improving intimate relationships and personal well-being.
Dr. Amy Pearlman
Board-certified urologist specializing in male sexual wellness, performance, and hormonal health.
Dr. Justin Houman
MD, UCLA-trained urologist and male reproductive specialist focusing on sexual health.
Cameron Fraser
Certified sexologist and tantric yoga teacher who coaches men on sexual wellness and performance.
Dr. Paula Hall
Accredited sexual and relationship psychotherapist, registered with leading professional bodies in psychotherapy.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
PhD in social psychology and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute.
Yes, worrying about sex now and then is common. If it keeps happening, causes distress or makes you avoid intimacy you want, it’s worth getting support.
Possible contributors include a difficult sexual experience, fear of disappointing a partner, relationship tension, stress or concern about changes in your erection. Several factors can be involved at the same time.
Where and when the difficulties happen can help a doctor assess you, but it can’t confirm the cause on its own. Morning or solo erections don’t rule out a physical factor either. If symptoms persist or keep coming back, get a medical check.
Yes, it can contribute, and erection difficulties can in turn increase anxiety. Physical factors can be involved too, so get persistent symptoms checked by a doctor.
They can occur together and make each other worse. Breathing and grounding can help with the tension; our guide to premature ejaculation explains approaches to ejaculation concerns.
Start with manageable practices such as comfortable breathing, grounding and noticing self-critical thoughts. During sex, you can pause, communicate or focus on touch without a required outcome. A therapist can help if anxiety persists or feels difficult to manage.
Yes, professional support is available. A doctor or therapist can assess your needs and recommend appropriate care. The Coach provides guided practices and education, but it doesn’t diagnose or provide treatment.
It may ease as circumstances change. If it persists, causes distress or affects your relationship, seek support rather than waiting for it to disappear.
If you feel safe doing so, explain what worries you and what would help. For example, you might agree to enjoy touch without expecting penetration. You can choose how much to share and when.
Context can play a part: expectations, past experiences or how things are in the relationship. On its own, that pattern doesn’t tell you the cause. A therapist can help you explore it.
Not on its own. Medication may suit erectile dysfunction, depending on the cause and your health, so discuss it with a doctor. But a pill still needs arousal to work, and anxiety can block that, so the worry may need its own support.
About 10 to 20 minutes a day for all the practices together. Each exercise has its own schedule: breathing for three weeks, the inner-coach exercise once a week for at least two months. Breathing gets familiar quickly; a long habit of self-criticism takes longer to change.
Keep It Hard gives you short video, audio and text lessons, guided physical and anxiety practices, and a daily plan that puts them together.
Yes. The breathing, grounding and thought exercises can be practised on your own. Some other program activities involve a partner; choose those only when you both want to try them.
