The best flirty texts for her are short, playful and clearly about her: a joke only she would get, a compliment with a real detail, a hint that she’s on your mind. A line like “I’ve read your grocery list three times now, and not for the groceries” can make her smile because it’s funny and true. Start with something funny or sweet, and let her replies show you whether she wants it flirtier. Man’s Guide to Sexting, a program in The Coach app, teaches you to flirt like this with your girlfriend, your wife or someone you’ve just started dating.
Build my planEach example works better once you add a detail from your own life, such as a place you went together or something she told you yesterday. Start with the lighter kinds, and save the bolder ones for when she’s already flirting back.
Flirting with your girlfriend over text is mostly a matter of tone and timing. These six habits keep your texts light and easy for her to answer.
A flirty text is only the opening, and the fun is in the back-and-forth. How you answer depends on what she sends.
Man’s Guide to Sexting goes into replies like these in more detail, from a laughing “stop” to no answer at all. The quiz asks a few questions, and your answers shape a personal plan.
Start by making her smile. Her replies will tell you what comes next.
Man’s Guide to Sexting is a 14-lesson program in The Coach app that you read whenever it suits you. It covers everything from a playful first text to sexting and carrying the mood into the evening, and shows you how to let her replies set the pace.
How to tease her and play along without getting heavy, and why her “haha” or “behave” can be part of the game.
How to answer a practical message about dinner or plans and still add a small spark.
What to send before her big meeting, from across the room, on your way home or when the chat has gone dry.
Answer a few questions to get a personal plan that shows you where to start.
After years together, texts can slide into pure logistics: the kids, dinner, the bills. Flirty texts for your wife don’t replace any of that. Answer the practical part, then add a line that shows you still notice her as a woman, not just as the person you run a home with. If she asks you to pick up the kids, try “On it. In return, I’m claiming you for the couch at nine.”
A cute flirty text for your wife can be as simple as telling her what still gets you: “All these years, and I still get distracted when you walk into a room.” Sexy texts for your wife can go a little further without getting explicit: “Once the kids are asleep, the rest of the evening is ours. I have a few ideas.” Then let the evening match your texts: put your phone away when you get home, kiss her hello properly and pick up where your messages left off.
For texts that keep her looking forward to the evening, read our guide on how to tease a girl over text.
Some chats run on one-word answers: “fine,” “nothing,” “yeah.” Jumping to something flirty at that point can feel random, because nothing in the conversation leads there. Bring some energy back first with a playful conversation starter: “Okay, this chat needs rescuing. What made you laugh today?” or “Tell me one good thing about your day. Bonus points if it involves me.”
If the conversation has been flat for a while, tell her you miss flirting with her, as an invitation rather than a complaint about what she stopped doing. Then go first: one light, specific text is an easier way back than a talk about why the spark faded.
When the flirting is back and she’s enjoying it, our guide on how to sext a girl covers the next step.
These figures come from a survey of The Coach users after their first four weeks. They show what users reported, not a result every man will see.
Borrowed lines can get a conversation started, but the texts she’ll remember are the ones only you could send, like an old nickname or something from your first date. Man’s Guide to Sexting teaches you to notice those details and turn them into texts that sound like you.
Reviews from men using the app.
“The program also emphasizes understanding a partner’s needs through communication, emotional connection, and attentiveness. Instead of offering quick fixes, it encourages men to slow down, listen actively, and create a more collaborative experience with their partner.”
“I’m happy to say this app has helped me open up a whole new line of communication with my S/O. Every resource for a better relationship is at your fingertips in this app. love it”
“I am grateful for the reminders and techniques to enhance and revitalize my love for my wife. Technique that makes you own the confidence that you’re doing the right stuff. Anatomy that we forgot about and sensory stuff that makes her squirm. Thank you”
“After only five or six lessons, I was tuned in to making the experience more pleasurable for her, which actually made me feel sexier! I’m not ashamed to admit that the Coach made me a better partner and lover.”
The Coach works with clinical researchers, certified sex therapists and medical professionals, including practicing urologists.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
PhD in social psychology and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute.
Dr. Jessica Yih
Urologist and director of women's sexual health and male infertility at UCI.
Dr. Kirti S. Patel
Board-certified ob/gyn and host of The Gynarchy, a women's-health podcast.
Cameron Fraser
Australia's leading men's sex coach, specializing in male sexual wellness and performance.
Dr. Paula Hall
Accredited sexual and relationship psychotherapist, registered with leading professional bodies in psychotherapy.
Natalie Goldberg
Certified sex and family therapist dedicated to improving intimate relationships and personal well-being.
Dr. Justin Houman
MD, UCLA-trained urologist and male reproductive specialist focusing on sexual health.
Dr. Amy Pearlman
Board-certified urologist specializing in male sexual wellness, performance, and hormonal health.
One that’s short, playful and could only be about her. Mention something real, like what she wore, something funny from your last date or something she told you, and let her know she’s on your mind: “Still thinking about your karaoke. Best four minutes of my week.” If you’ve only just met, keep it casual; if you’ve been together for years, a shared memory works just as well.
Keep it light and let her set the pace. Tease her about something from your date, or compliment her sense of humor or her taste in music rather than only her looks. Then see what she does with it. If she flirts back, you can go a little further next time; if she keeps it friendly, stay friendly for now.
Often enough that she knows she’s on your mind, and rarely enough that each one still feels like a small surprise. A text you send because something reminded you of her usually lands better than one sent on a schedule.
Yes, if it’s something she could read in front of a colleague. Keep it brief, don’t expect a long answer and save anything more personal for the evening. Before a big meeting, a line of support with a hint about tonight works better than a text that needs a reply.
Lines that could go to anyone, comments that rate her body, sulking when she replies slowly and anything explicit she didn’t invite. Long paragraphs are a mistake too: a flirty text should be easy to answer in one line.
Slowly, and only if she’s clearly enjoying the flirting. When her replies get warmer and bolder, tell her a little more plainly that you want her and keep the details for later. Her next message shows you whether to keep going. If she steers the chat back to everyday things, follow her lead and try another time.
Don’t take it as a verdict. She may be busy, tired or not in the mood for flirting right now, and a friendly reply is still a reply. Answer her normally and try something lighter another day. If she never flirts by text, she may simply prefer to flirt in person.
