The best compliments for her are specific. “You’re beautiful” is nice to hear, but “I liked how you laughed at dinner tonight. I replayed it the whole way home” tells her you were paying attention. Name one real thing you noticed, say what it did to you, and don’t ask for anything in return. Man’s Guide to Sexting, a program in The Coach app, teaches you to turn that kind of attention into texts that make her feel wanted.
See my planStart with sweet ones and move to the flirtier kinds once she’s playing along. The examples work best as patterns: swap in a detail from your own day with her, and they’ll sound like you.
Over text she can’t hear your tone or see your face, so the words carry everything. These six habits keep them warm and believable.
A picture is a small act of trust: when she sends one, she’s wondering how you’ll see her. The simplest way to compliment a girl on her picture is to name one thing you like and let that be your whole reply. Don’t ask for more, and don’t suggest what she could change.
Man’s Guide to Sexting covers these moments: how to answer so she feels appreciated, not judged. The quiz asks a few questions, and your answers shape a personal plan.
Help her feel seen, then let her set the pace.
Man’s Guide to Sexting is a 14-lesson program in The Coach app that you read whenever it suits you. Its lessons go from a first flirty text to sexting, and they cover what to notice about her and how to put it into words.
How to build a message from one detail you noticed: what it was, what it did to you and where you’d like it to lead.
Which details make her feel admired and which make her feel examined, and how that changes from early dating to a long relationship.
What to say when she sends a picture or dresses up, and why a photo should never become the goal.
Answer a few questions, and you’ll get a plan that shows you where to start.
Feeling wanted is different from hearing that she’s pretty. It comes from desire that is clearly about her: something she did, said or wore that stayed with you. It’s also what keeps sexy compliments for her from sounding generic: “You’re hot” could be sent to anyone, while “I’ve thought about that kiss at the door all morning” could only be sent to her.
With your girlfriend or wife, a compliment can also hint at what you’d like next: “You looked so good tonight that I’ve been counting the minutes until everyone leaves.” If she answers in the same tone, go a little further; if she changes the subject, go along with it and keep the thought for later. That’s how she learns that feeling desired by you comes without pressure.
When the flirting turns into sexting, our guide on how to sext a girl covers what to write next.
If you’ve only been on a few dates, keep compliments light: her smile, her voice, her sense of humor, a moment from the date. “You tell stories like nobody else. I was still laughing about your sister’s wedding when I got home” is personal without being too intense.
A compliment usually feels creepy when it gets too personal too soon or comes with pressure attached. Leave her body out of it until she’s flirting with you, never rate her or compare her with anyone, and don’t send three compliments in a row when she hasn’t answered the first. Send one good line, then let her decide what happens next.
For more ways to keep her smiling between dates, read our guide to flirty texts for her.
These figures come from a survey of The Coach users after their first four weeks. They show what users reported, not a result every man will see.
The compliments that stay with her are the ones nobody else could send: a callback to your first date, a nickname, the song from your road trip, a joke only the two of you get. A text as simple as “They played our song at the coffee shop, and I grinned like an idiot” says more than any clever line. Man’s Guide to Sexting shows you how to build texts around details like these, so she knows they were written for her.
Reviews from men using the app, in their own words.
“The program also emphasizes understanding a partner’s needs through communication, emotional connection, and attentiveness. Instead of offering quick fixes, it encourages men to slow down, listen actively, and create a more collaborative experience with their partner.”
“I’m happy to say this app has helped me open up a whole new line of communication with my S/O. Every resource for a better relationship is at your fingertips in this app. love it”
“I am grateful for the reminders and techniques to enhance and revitalize my love for my wife. Technique that makes you own the confidence that you’re doing the right stuff. Anatomy that we forgot about and sensory stuff that makes her squirm. Thank you”
“After only five or six lessons, I was tuned in to making the experience more pleasurable for her, which actually made me feel sexier! I’m not ashamed to admit that the Coach made me a better partner and lover.”
The Coach works with clinical researchers, certified sex therapists and medical professionals, including practicing urologists.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
PhD in social psychology and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute.
Dr. Jessica Yih
Urologist and director of women's sexual health and male infertility at UCI.
Dr. Kirti S. Patel
Board-certified ob/gyn and host of The Gynarchy, a women's-health podcast.
Cameron Fraser
Australia's leading men's sex coach, specializing in male sexual wellness and performance.
Dr. Paula Hall
Accredited sexual and relationship psychotherapist, registered with leading professional bodies in psychotherapy.
Natalie Goldberg
Certified sex and family therapist dedicated to improving intimate relationships and personal well-being.
Dr. Justin Houman
MD, UCLA-trained urologist and male reproductive specialist focusing on sexual health.
Dr. Amy Pearlman
Board-certified urologist specializing in male sexual wellness, performance, and hormonal health.
Ones that are specific and true. Instead of “You’re gorgeous,” tell her what you noticed and what it did to you: “You looked so relaxed at the beach today. I could have stayed there all afternoon just watching you read.” Mix compliments on her looks with ones about who she is.
Tie the compliment to a moment, so she knows you were paying attention: “Your smile when you spotted me at the station made my whole day” or “I liked hearing you talk about your new project. Your eyes light up when you’re excited.” Her smile, eyes and voice are safe to compliment at any stage, even after a first date.
Compliment her sexually only when she’s already in a flirty mood, and say what made you think it instead of just the word: “You were so sure of yourself tonight. It was very attractive.” In a long relationship you can be more direct and more physical, as long as it stays about her and doesn’t turn into a description of her body.
Something that makes her glad she sent it: one thing you like, in your own words. If you can’t answer properly right away, a quick “Wow. Proper reply when I’m out of this meeting” is better than silence. Whatever she sends stays between the two of you.
Ratings and comparisons (“You’re a 10,” “prettier than my ex”), backhanded ones (“You look good for someone who just woke up”), comments on her body early on, and any compliment with a request attached. Skip the ones you send out of habit, too: a line that could go to anyone tells her very little.
Don’t argue or push until she agrees. Some people find compliments awkward, especially in writing, where they feel they have to answer. Say it once, let it go and keep noticing; a light “Okay, but I’m still right” is enough.
Use both. A spoken compliment is gone in a moment, while a text stays on her phone, so she can read it again later. In person, she sees your face and hears that you mean it.
