Pause your breath, then exhale
As orgasm approaches, you can briefly pause your breath, then let it out slowly. Notice whether this changes the sensation for you, and skip the pause if it feels uncomfortable.
Guided masturbation uses spoken instructions to help you explore what feels good. A voice suggests where to start and what to notice, so you can close your eyes and keep both hands free. You begin with your arms, belly and thighs before moving to more sensitive areas, using lubricant when needed. Take your time and stop whenever you want; you don’t need to reach orgasm for a session to be useful. The Sex is a Skill program in The Coach for Her app includes guided practices like this. Answer a few questions to get a personal plan.
Build my planGuided masturbation means following spoken instructions during solo touch. A voice sets the timing and pace, so both hands stay free. In Sex is a Skill for Her, the guidance tells you where to start, how long to stay with each step and what to notice.
Take your time and notice which sensations you enjoy.
Start with these female masturbation tips: five external techniques, then an optional way to explore internal touch. Adjust the pressure to what feels comfortable, and stop if anything hurts.
Choose a technique that feels comfortable, and adjust it to your preferences.
The guided practices in Sex is a Skill for Her give you spoken instructions for solo touch, with no goal you have to reach.
Both approaches can be enjoyable. Guided exploration gives you a structure for trying something different.
Orgasmic breathing means paying attention to your breath during arousal and orgasm. Noticing your breathing during sex or solo practice can help you stay with your sensations, and erotic meditation uses the same attention to breath. Try one technique at a time and keep your breathing comfortable.
As orgasm approaches, you can briefly pause your breath, then let it out slowly. Notice whether this changes the sensation for you, and skip the pause if it feels uncomfortable.
If your breathing becomes fast or shallow, slow it to a comfortable pace. Notice how the sensations feel as you breathe gently.
When you’re close to orgasm, take long, deep breaths and see whether you can stay at that level a little longer instead of going over. Go back to normal breathing if it feels uncomfortable.
Try a few short breaths through an O-shaped mouth, then return to your usual breathing. Notice whether the change affects your arousal. If you feel dizzy, stop and return to gentle, normal breathing.
Breathing is one of the skills in Sex is a Skill for Her. The quiz helps you see where to start.
Pleasure mapping is a ten-to-twenty-minute practice for noticing which kinds of touch you enjoy. Finish with a short note about your preferences.
Repeat the practice whenever you want to explore further. Your preferences can change over time.
Erotic Mind Activation is a five-to-ten-minute practice for exploring how memories and fantasies affect arousal. No touch is required.
For more on how desire develops, read our guide to responsive desire.
Spoken instructions let you focus on how a practice feels instead of on what to do next. Sex is a Skill for Her is a program in The Coach for Her app. It starts with your own pleasure, then moves on to his body and to taking the lead. The first part includes guided masturbation for women, and practices across the program take ten to thirty-five minutes.
User-reported results after four weeks with The Coach:
Your plan follows your answers, and you practice when it suits you.
Unedited reviews from the App Store, Google Play and Trustpilot.
“Friendly daily practices that gently and compassionately bring you closer to your sensual self”
“I was not expecting such a complete app. There’s so much helpful information, practical tips, and exercises.”
“I like that everything is broken into small, simple lessons, so it doesn’t feel overwhelming. It feels very private and comfortable to use, which makes a big difference for topics like this.”
“A very easy to use app, that is informative and engaging through a great combination of written material, videos and visuals.”
The Coach works with clinical researchers, certified sex therapists and medical professionals.
Dr. Jessica Yih
Urologist and director of women’s sexual health and male infertility at UCI.
Dr. Kirti S. Patel
Board-certified ob/gyn and host of The Gynarchy, a women’s-health podcast.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
PhD in social psychology and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute.
Dr. Paula Hall
Accredited sexual and relationship psychotherapist, registered with leading professional bodies in psychotherapy.
Natalie Goldberg
Certified sex and family therapist dedicated to improving intimate relationships and personal well-being.
Dr. Susie Gronski
Licensed physical therapist, certified sexuality counselor, and founder of a men’s pelvic health clinic.
Dr. Gary Shlifer
DO, board-certified internal medicine physician specializing in preventative care, nutrition, and anti-aging.
Dr. Joshua Roland
MD, sleep medicine specialist, and clinical instructor at the David Geffen School of Medicine, UCLA.
Not in Sex is a Skill for Her. Its guided audio gives practical instructions for touch rather than a story or scene. A voice tells you where to start and what to notice, and you go at your own pace.
Sex is a Skill for Her works like a self-pleasure class you take in private. Lessons are followed by exercises you do on your own, and some of them are guided audio. The practices take ten to thirty-five minutes.
You’ll need lubricant for pleasure mapping. Toys are optional; your fingers are enough for most of the techniques. Lubricant and devices aren’t included with the app.
Sex is a Skill for Her is a program in The Coach for Her app. It combines lessons and practices, including guided audio and some video demonstrations. Practices range from ten to thirty-five minutes. The program begins with solo exploration before moving to his body and shared intimacy.
No partner is needed for the first part, which focuses on your own pleasure. Later parts explore his body and shared intimacy.
