Whether because of excitement, nerves, or laziness, we’ve all blown our load too quickly. As we age, the time between the feeling that we’re about to ejaculate and the ejaculation itself gets shorter. If you’re frequently ejaculating in a very short amount of time, however, it can become embarrassing, or it can make you feel inadequate. You need to take action ASAP.

But Are You Sure You Have a Problem in the First Place?

Before getting into the specifics about premature ejaculation (PE), you might want to entertain the idea that, just maybe, you’ve turned a small issue into a huge problem that’s not actually a problem for you and your partner.

Don’t get hung up on the spectacular feats of sexual endurance you see in porn. They’re a poor reflection of real life. Studies show that ejaculation, on average, takes around five minutes. Of course, it can go for much longer, but all women are different, and not all of them want the hours-long pounding you so often see on Pornhub.

It might be that your ejaculation time isn’t a problem. Talk with your partner before you start hating on yourself for something that may be completely normal and problem-free.

Yeah, I Think I Have a Real Problem

Well, first let’s define what clinical premature ejaculation is. International guidelines define premature ejaculation as ejaculating within one minute of entering your partner, regularly.

What causes premature ejaculation?

It’s not completely understood why premature ejaculation happens, but it may have something to do with brain chemistry. Men with low levels of serotonin tend to ejaculate faster.

Stress, depression, guilt, and relationship problems can all play a role. The same goes for performance anxiety. This means that the more you worry about ejaculating quickly, the more it’s likely to happen.

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) can sometimes be the culprit, too. Men with ED may worry that they’ll lose their erection during sex, so they’ll feel pressured to ejaculate quickly. If you suffer from ED, seek treatment as soon as possible. You might find your premature ejaculation stops, too.

How can I prevent premature ejaculation?

There are several measures you can take to help you last longer:

  • Masturbate and ejaculate an hour or so before you have sex.
  • Take breaks from penetrative sex; you can to switch oral sex, or even use a toy, for example.
  • Breathe deeply and slowly during sex, particularly if you feel you’ll climax soon. This breathing technique can delay climax.
  • Use a thicker condom.
  • Have sex with your partner on top while you lie on your back.
  • Participate in couples therapy (if you’re in a committed relationship).

What medications can I take?

If you’ve tried everything, then it might be time to turn to medication. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are usually used to treat depression, but they can also delay ejaculation. So SSRIs would be especially useful if you have both conditions — depression due to PE is not all that uncommon.

You can also try anesthetic creams or sprays such as lidocaine or prilocaine to reduce penile sensitivity. There are condoms with these agents on the inner lining — just make sure you put one on the right way.

Where Do I Even Start?

If you’re suffering from premature ejaculation, get in touch with a doctor right away. Talk with your partner as well, if you’re comfortable.

You might first try natural remedies. And if that fails, consider medication. Don’t let negative emotions build up inside. PE is treatable, and you can start finding solutions today.

Disclaimer: This information isn’t a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. You should never rely upon this article for specific medical advice. If you have any questions or concerns, please talk to your doctor.

Article written by:
Sport, diet, mental health, sex, hormones. All in one app.
Subscribe to the Coach magazine

Get exclusive content, latest research and tips on men's health from leading coaches, doctors and athletes. It's free.

By clicking “Subscribe”, you agree to receive emails from the Coach and accept our web terms of use and privacy and cookie policy