And if talking is not for you, see the next practice.
Remember to talk not only about your desires and demands. Ask your partner what they want to improve and what they like or dislike. Support them. Don't push.
Sometimes (or even often), your partner can say "no." And it is perfectly fine. Be ready to hear it. If you accept their refusal, they will feel much more comfortable in such conversations.
Good to know:
Could we do it again?
I don't like / This doesn't really work for me
Could you / do you want to try …?
That pose was incredible. Is there anything I can do to get more of that?
I love/like/admire when …
Can we talk about ways to …?
Words you can use to talk about sex:
If you have known each other for not so long, start with general themes and questions. Letting out all your fetishes on your partner at this time might not be a good idea.
Start with positive feedback. You can mention things about your sex that you really love. For example, "I love how you kiss my neck" or "I love it when we laugh together in bed."
Start openly. Tell your partner you want to talk about sex and ask whether it is a good time. Be ready to hear "no."
How to start talking about sex?
When both of you feel comfortable, relaxed, not tired, and ready to communicate. The appropriate time is on a date.
When you are together, and nobody else is around. A good place could be in a car or at home.
When is the best time to talk about sex?
Here is your cheat sheet on how and when to talk about sex. If you or your partner are not yet ready to talk, practice on the next page will help you share your feedback without words.
The skill to talk about sex is not less important than sex itself. When discussing sex, you can get to know your partner's preferences and desires and let them know what you enjoy the most.
Talking about sex
Option 2: print two copies or send the checklist to your partner, answer questions independently, and then exchange documents. Read your partner's answers, discuss them, and ask your partner what they think about your answers.
Option 1: print or open the checklist on your screen, sit together with your partner, go step by step answering questions (each partner answers each question separately), and discuss your answers openly
How to use this checklist:
Check-list for couples